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Hot and Bothered

Posted on July 15, 2013 under Career & Work, Coaching

Blog egg-frying-on-sidewalk

It feels like a million degrees here in Manhattan.  We are surrounded by water and the effect is that of a swamp – high humidity with profuse sweating.


We're in for another hot spell, and like clockwork the heat always cranks up some people's dispositions in a not-so-nice way.  Likely there will be news reports throughout the week about domestic disputes and other irrational and unacceptable behavior.


Sometimes I wonder if external circumstances like the weather gives us more permission to egg each other on and really push each others' buttons.


Anger, disappointment, and frustration are unfortunately no strangers to the workplace too.  Add grumpy bosses and frazzled workers to the mix and it's a recipe for disaster.


When we're able to be present and take a step back from a fiery work situation, we're able to see what these emotions are all about.  It's about humans expressing their desires and feelings, albiet in a less than ideal fashion.


Anger is a real emotion, one that gets a particularly bad rap.  It's raw, valid, and a universal condition.  It's usually a game-changer and when channeled the right way it can bring about tremendous positive change – but as we know, it has a powerful dark side too.


Many children learn to never get angry, so they end up as anxious, depressed or frustrated adults. Airing your anger in a healthy way is what intense exercise, therapy, core dynamics, and pyschodrama is designed to lovingly hold.


Tapping back into original anger is what happens on the job, except now you're playing it out with Diane the CEO and Bob the accountant – instead of Mom and Dad – and you are unconscious of it.


I'm for being passionate about your career and fighting for what's right, but make sure you know “who” you're talking to and “what” you're fighting for/about before throwing anger on the boardroom table.


If you can honestly say that you have a beef with someone and your business agenda is strictly about the here and now, and you are free from old stuff, then go for it in a respectful, articulate and fair way. 


There are incredible resources out there in negotiation, mediation, and groups such as Non-Violent Communication who teach others to peacefully resolve differences through increased understanding, authentic communication, and deep connections.


Anger is a natural expression of being alive.  Educate yourself on how to better wield its power for the betterment of society.


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